


Snails

by CoralTypewriter



Series: Clone Stories [2]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Eats Bugs, Food Issues, Gen, POV CT-7567 | Rex, POV Third Person Limited, Past Tense, Rainforests, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralTypewriter/pseuds/CoralTypewriter
Summary: “Maker...”This place was going to be the death of him.[Note: Originally posted June 2020.]
Relationships: 501st Legion & Ahsoka Tano, 501st Legion & Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Series: Clone Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120856
Comments: 2
Kudos: 105





	Snails

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lizard? Lizard.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16231046) by [subtropicalStenella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/subtropicalStenella/pseuds/subtropicalStenella). 
  * Inspired by [The Itsy Bitsy Spider (that Anakin ate)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24374686) by [Kroolea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kroolea/pseuds/Kroolea). 



> This was also inspired by the snail slurping scene from the Lion King 1/2.

“Maker...” 

This place was going to be the death of him. 

Rex tore off his helmet and ran a hand down his face. Beads of sweat clung to his features, glistening in the harsh sunlight. The canopy did little to provide comfortable shading and the storm two hours ago only made the heat worse. Rainforests, right next to deserts, were Rex’s least favorite climate. The humidity was _suffocating_. It coiled around him like a snake, threatening to squeeze the life from him. Not to mention, it’s buggy and noisy and—

A wet squishing sound has Rex rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. Huffing and puffing, Rex yanked his foot out of a mud hole and nearly collided with Fives behind him. 

“Having fun, sir?” Fives said breathlessly, peeling a wet leaf off his pauldron. His armor was caked in mud, dead bugs, and some strange goo (tree sap, probably). It’s a look. And Rex knew Fives would need to repaint certain pieces from all the scrubbing. Not that Rex’s armor was in a better state. 

“Oh yeah, loads of fun,” Rex said dryly. “Practically bursting at the seams with enthusiasm over here.” 

Jesse snorted. “Captain Sass is reporting for duty, I see.” 

Rex just shook his head with a half-hearted grimace and kept marching onward. 

Even from a tactical standpoint, Rex disliked rainforests (and jungles). While they provided ample opportunity for camouflage and plenty of material to build fortifications, the dense vegetation limited visuals and made certain areas inaccessible by vehicles. That meant longer travel time over uneven terrain and in harsh conditions, restricted supply lines, higher chances of injuries—in short: it’s a death trap. 

“There’s a cave up ahead, master!” Commander Tano came bounding through the underbrush, lekku twitching in new found excitement. “It doesn't look like anything lives in it.” 

She was just as filthy as the rest of them, covered head-to-toe in blue pollen. A dusting, really, but still gross. No one else would probably believe that a plant sneezed on her. 

General Skywalker managed a tired smile at the news. His hair was soaked, like someone dumped a bucket of water on his head, and stuck to his face and the back of his neck. Despite their environment-control elements, Rex’s armor and undersuit were still uncomfortable in these circumstances. He couldn’t imagine what it felt like in all those robes though. Skywalker had to be wearing at least three layers, maybe four. 

“Good work, Snips,” Skywalker said. “Lead the way.” 

* * *

_Thank the Force._

The cave’s cool and quiet and Rex parked himself on a moss covered rock without delay, his body aching from the six hour hike. There was still a long way to go until they reached the Separatist base. With any luck, it would remain a stealth mission. 

“Here,” Kix said, offering a canteen to Rex who took it with a grateful nod. “Don’t need you passing out from dehydration.” 

“Thanks—” 

From deeper within the cave, Tano’s voice reverberated off the walls. “Hell ya!” 

Oh no. Rex wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. 

“If the commander found a subterranean lake—” Fives scooped up his helmet and headed towards the source of her voice— “I’m going for a swim. I don’t care what anyone says.” 

Against his better judgment, Rex followed Fives around the corner and down the short tunnel to the cave’s end. Stalactites, glowing mushrooms, a small body of water (not enough to swim in to Fives disappointment): it’s a whole other world. Of course, the wondrous moment didn’t last forever. 

Both the general and the commander were _beaming_ at the colony of snails when Rex found them. 

The small and neon blue snails were nearly translucent, like jell-o, with spiral shells and left a thick and shiny slime trail as they crawled up the cavern wall. Weren’t colorful critters supposed to be poisonous? Togrutas were a hardy species, Rex knew, and could neutralize the toxins of their prey. Humans, on the other hand, lacked that evolutionary trait. And Rex really, really didn’t want to inform Kenobi that Skywalker was on medical leave (or worse, dead) because he let ‘em eat a snail. Then again, Rex had seen the pair eat many others things (alive) without consequences: lizards, spiders, beetles, and worms. 

It made sense on a technical level. Tano belonged to a carnivorous species, which were hunters rather than scavengers. Skywalker, however, was a former slave; food rations were most likely limited and took to eating whatever he could find in order to survive. Not to mention, fresh meat probably beat their military ration packs (dehydrated polystarch and veg-meat) anyday. 

Skywalker knelt beside his padawan learner and held one between his fingers. 

“Now, the trick is to—” 

Rex didn’t even bother to actually _listen_ to Skywalker’s lecture on how to properly ‘slurp’ a snail, but he somehow found himself watching and gagged at the sight. Fives and Jesse, who flanked him on both sides, witnessed it too with varying reactions. 

“I’m out!” Jesse declared and turned to head back towards the entrance without another word. 

“I bet twenty credits General Skywalker can eat more snails than Commander Tano,” Fives said with a mischievous smile, and it was contagious. (Excluding Rex, of course. He was immune). Determination shined in Skywalker and Tano’s eyes. 

_Karking hell._ This wasn’t the time for betting or contests. Alas, there’s no changing either Jedi’s mind once it’s made. With any luck, neither will get an upset stomach from eating too much. The Torrent Company—more specifically, Rex—didn’t want to be here longer than necessary. 

Kix shielded his eyes from the scene. “Let me know if either of them start foaming at the mouth or anything,” he said. “I’m not familiar with that species. Though it should be fine.” 

“ _Oh, that’s comforting_.” 

Tano gave a heartfelt groan, as if it were the most delicious food she’d ever tasted, and plucked another one from its perch. 

Skywalker nodded in agreement. “Slimy yet satisfying.” 

Maybe it was the juicy slurping sound, or their blue stained teeth, or the odd smell secreting from the creatures—probably a pheromone to deter predators. Though it seemed to have no effect on the Jedi. Either way, the mouth sweats began and his stomach churned. Taking a few deep and even breaths, Rex attempted to subside his nausea to no avail. 

Yep. It’s happening. 

As hot bail climbed his throat, Rex bolted from the cave and emptied his stomach behind a tree. 

“You alright, Rex?” Tano called out to him. 

“Yeah,” he panted, stabilizing himself against the tree. “Yeah, I’m okay.” 

_By the Stars_ —if the rainforest didn’t claim him first, Rex was sure his Jedi would be the death of him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
